March 25, 2009

Two Dog Night, Too Dog Tired!

I don't wear a watch much anymore, at least not during the day. But with the new puppy in the house, I've been wearing one more often than not while sleeping. I have this perverse curiosity to know what time I'm dragging my sleeping body out of bed in the middle of the night.

My Timex has a light (or as the Timex people call it, an electroluminesence system). That's how I know Boomer started doing his heavy breathing exercises at 1:06 a.m. last night. Trust me, at that hour, it's very easy to deploy Strategy Number 1 for nighttime dog management: Ignore it, and hope it goes away.

At 1:24 a.m., I was looking for Strategy Number 2: Ignore it, and hope your wife hears it and does something about it.

At 1:36 a.m., I got up. By that time, Boomer was jumping from the bed to the floor and back, Daisy was whimpering, and my dear wife was successfully employing Strategy Number 3: Sleep if you can, fake it if you can't. Throwing on a pair of pants and already muddy shoes, I took Boomer and Daisy out. Let's just say both dogs needed the relief opportunity I provided--and leave it at that.

Ten minutes later, we were back in bed. Till 2:34 a.m. That's when Boomer began Round Two, breathing heavily and jumping off and on the bed. I was out of strategies, Jane was still employing Strategy Number 3, and this time, Daisy was sleeping. Booms went out by himself on his second "business trip" of the night.

Jane reminded me I shouldn't have given the dogs a chance to lick clean a plate of meat juice last night. What, and miss all this late-night action?

By 5:55 a.m., when the alarm went off, Boomer was already insisting on going out yet again. This was my first success of the night, and Strategy Number 4: In that special tone of voice, say to your wife, "It's your turn," then throw the covers over your head and revert to Strategy Number 3.


  1. Too funny. I had no idea how talent BOTH of you are in writing. Thank you! I enjoyed starting my day with a little bit of humor. Sorry, it was at your expense. I'm really glad we don't own a dog anymore. I was up with a granddaughter until 11:30pm...she's taken over our hearts and I don't mind Strategy Number 1: Jump first when she cries!

    charlene & co.

  2. I'd feel the same way about a grandbaby, too! Maybe this is the warm-up act for those moments, in which case Jane needs to improve on her "skills." (Jane figures she jumped up and took care of two daughters when they were little, and also when they were out late at night, so . . . payback!)

  3. I feel your pain, brother. By the way, who knew you were a writer??!!


  4. Awe, schucks, Kate. Let's remeber I have a good editor!



"Daisy, are they clean yet?"

Happiness Is . . .

Happiness Is . . .
a warm puppy named Daisy!