April 30, 2009

Monster of the Mudway


Jane: Twentieth century British poet T. S. Eliot once wrote, "April is the cruelest month, mixing memory with desire." Why did T. S. poetically slam the month of April in The Waste Land? I suspect it was because he owned a dog.

No doubt about it, this April was cruel. Thirty days of snow and rain transformed our backyard into a personal Waste Land. Oh, we have memories: Once upon a time, long, long ago (before dogs), our lawn looked nice--think Augusta National golf course with a few dandelions. Desire? A yard that makes us proud and our neighbors jealous. But now memory mixes mostly with despair, not desire--despair over poop piles that fertilize some areas and urine circles that burn out others.

And then there's our lot location. We sit on the low point of our street. That means when we endure a deluge (of which there have been many), a run-off river runs through it. Our Waste Land becomes swamp land. Mulched gardens become mud masses.

Last Sunday the April showers temporarily abated, so we fired up the grill and invited friends over. Dear friends, but friends who are not dog owners. Sensible people. Their home is spotless, their clothing fur free. (Did I mention they're sensible people?) We sat on our deck sipping wine and chatting while our two dogs moshed in the mushy backyard and dumped directly in front of our guests' observant eyes. More wine, anyone?

Then Daisy discovered where our sump pump discharges into a storm sewer. The delights of gurgling gushes and pooling water proved too tempting to resist. Paws churned! Muck flew! Boomer looked on, curious, while our frenetic she-monster submerged her snout--repeatedly--in the primordial soup, reemerging with a mud-drunk grin. Can I pass you something?

Panic stricken, I glanced at my friend wearing a pristine white blouse. Daisy, PLEASE don't come up on the deck and shake, I thought wildly, heart pounding. PLEASE don't jump up on my friend!

Finally our Monster of the Mudway minded our stern scolding and submitted to a severe hosing. Once again looking like a ladylike cutie, Daisy settled quietly on the deck--but not before she emitted a contented sigh.

Relieved, I sighed. Catastrophe avoided. This time. Let's have dessert!

Tomorrow is May Day, the first day of May. I'm not going to miss April at all. T. S. Eliot was quite right: For dog owners, April is the cruelest month. April showers are supposed to bring May flowers. We'll see. I'm hoping for a kinder, gentler, dryer month ahead. What would T. S. have to say about that?

14 comments:

  1. Oh, how I feel your pain!! Well said, my friend. I laughed...I cried...!

    And I know how Daisy LOVES to play in water!!

    Kate

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  2. very funny!! but, oh no, your beautiful back yard!! well don't forget you don't get warm furry snuggles from the lawn..lol

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  3. I just read your hilarious post aloud to my laughing 10-y-o son. Thank you. Your dog is gorgeous! And that party sounded fun! I'm following you now.

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  4. That's so funny. It reminds me of the time we had our Pastor over for dinner and our stinkiest dog, Bailey, how shall we say... passed gas? They have an incredible sense of irony don't they?

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  5. Thanks for joining my site! Yours is pretty cool! As they say 'Any man who has a dog, can' be all bad!!'

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  6. There are only three seasons for dog owners.
    Grass, Snow and Mud.

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  7. Your fur babies are beautiful...I was telling Hubby the other day that I missed having a sweet, cuddly puppy around...Thanks for the flashback to the muddy reality...
    Hugs and Rubs,
    Kit

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  9. Thank you for coming by our blog! I laughed to read your story b/c it sounds like something that would happen to us....invariably when we invite friends over, the cat jumps on the table and knocks over food, or throws up in front of guests -- something. Cute dogs!!

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  10. Only dog lovers could understand! :) At least Daisy didn't roll around in poo. Our greyhound did it twice in one month before we moved. I think she was feeling neglected while we were busy packing and she wanted/needed attention! P-U !

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  11. Beautiful pups!!! I guess there will be frequent bathing going on at your house!

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  12. Well hello Dottie....fancy seeing you here!

    Thanks for visiting us guys, we're nosey so we thought we'd come and check out who our new follower is....we tracked you down, sniffed you out :o)
    Ummm....wanna see our garden? Guaranteed to make you feel better....we know all about dandelions (we have some fine specimens) but what on earth is this grass stuff of which you speak? Having said that, April in our neck of the woods has been glorious!
    Your pups are beautiful :D
    Slobbers xx

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  13. I have a white lab named Senator who owns me so I get your blog and I love it. It's funny and amusing and oh what sweet babies you have here. Glad I somehow found your corner of the world.
    Happy Twirls

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KitchenAid

KitchenAid
"Daisy, are they clean yet?"

Happiness Is . . .

Happiness Is . . .
a warm puppy named Daisy!